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iHimlen.dk - Yo Mamma Is So Fat
   

Her er en masse "Din mor er så fed..." Jokes. - De er alle på engelsk da det helt klart lyder best.
Sig dem højt med en Sydstatsaccent

Yo mama so fat she hitch-hikes on dump trucks
Yo mama so fat she uses hoola hoops to hold up her socks!
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo mama so fat that she needs a sock for each toe
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat she was the cause of a major crash.
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama so fat, everytime someone say "Kool Aid" she bust through the wall.
Yo mama so fat when she sits in the classroom, she sits beside everybody.
Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat, she put on a red tee shirt and all the little kids said "Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid".
Yo mama so fat they wrote a book about her, it was called Moby Dick.
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she got more chins than a Chinese phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on theother side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
Yo mama so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth
Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Yo mama so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the fuck off!
Yo mama so fat and stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!
Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development
Yo mama so fat she won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
Yo mama so fat she has more rolls than a mary jane truck.
Yo mama so fat people go on expeditions on her tits!
Yo mama so fat he got a ham for a pet.
Yo mama so fat, when I walked by her house, I saw her ass in every window!
Yo mama so fat God can't lift her spirits!
Yo mama so fat she wipes her ass with a mattress.
Yo mama so fat one day it was raining and she put on her yellow coat to go down the street and a kid saw her and said "Damn, I missed the bus again!".
Yo mama so fat she played Free Willy's stunt double.
Yo mama so fat when she falls in the Grand Canyon, she gets stuck.
Yo mama so fat I saw her on top of the Empire State building snatching at airplanes.
Yo mama so fat she got an actual size tattoo of the projects on her butt.
Yo mama so fat that when she drives on the interstate, she has to stop at the weigh station.
Yo mama so fat when she jumps off the high dive she shows up on radar.
Yo mama so fat she uses a freeway for a slip and slide.
Yo mama so fat her butt cheeks look like 2 pigs fighting over Milk Duds.
Yo mama so fat her belt size is equator.
Yo mama so fat that people wish to buy food 100% "Yo Mama Free"
Yo mama so fat they won't allow her on most bridges.
Yo mama so fat the police dogs stopped her at the airport for having 10 lbs of crack.
Yo mama so fat she got more crack that South Central LA
Yo mama so fat when she sat on an ice berge she made crushed ice!!!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a car and said, "Who touched me?"
Yo mama so fat her blood type is RAGU!!!!!!
Yo mama so fat for a tampon she uses a role of bounty and a rope!
Yo mama so fat when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.
Yo mama so fat when she went outside with yellow biker shorts, two midgets jumped in her ass and thought she was a cab.
Yo mama so fat she fills up the bath tub, and THEN turns on the water.
Yo mama so fat she couldn't get the part in Forrest Gump because she kept eating the box of chocolates.
Yo mama so fat she got the part in Raiders of The Lost Ark as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama so fat when she looks in a mirror, she saw another mirror.
Yo mama so fat when the guy cursed "thinner" on her she said thanks.

Yo Mama Is So Poor...

Yo mama so poor she can't afford the o or the r.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
Yo mama so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard
Do you know the story about the little old woman that lives in a shoe? Well,
Yo mama so poor she live in a flip flop!
Yo mama so poor she does drive by shootings on the bus.
Yo mama so poor you put RoundUp on the weeds and she said, "There goes breakfast, lunch, and dinner!"
Yo mama so poor you asked her where the facilities were, and she said, "Pick a corner, any corner."
Yo mama so poor I walked into your house and 3 roaches tripped me & tried to take my wallet!
Yo mama so poor, I walked in her house, stepped on a cigirate, and she said, "Who turned out the light/heat?"

Yo Mama Is So Ugly ...

Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama's so ugly had to get her baby drunk just so she could breastfeed.
Yo mama's so ugly her face is closed on weekends!
Yo mama's so ugly her mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to haunted house and she came out with a job application
Yo mama's so ugly I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "thanks for bringing her back
Yo mama's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck
Yo mama's so ugly just after she was born, her mama'said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama's so ugly she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it
Yo mama's so ugly she could be the poster child for abortion/birth control!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the chrome off a bumper!
Yo mama's so ugly she could scare the moss off a rock!
Yo mama's so ugly she has to trick or treat over the phone
Yo mama's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo mama's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama's so ugly she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back
Yo mama's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo mama's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo mama's so ugly the last time she heard a whistle was when she got hit by a train
Yo mama's so ugly the psychiatrist makes her lie facedown.
Yo mama's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo mama's so ugly they know what time she was born, because her face stopped the clock!
Yo mama's so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama's so ugly when she sits in the sand the cat tries to bury her.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor didn't give her shampoo.
Yo mama's so ugly when she was born, her mama'saw the afterbirth and said "Twins!"
Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with slingshots.

Yo Mama's So Old ...

Yo mama's so old and stupid she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said, "Li'l Mary will never amount to anything".
Yo mama's so old Jurassic Park brought back memories.
Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.
Yo mama's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block
Yo mama's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo mama's so old she owes Moses a quarter.
Yo mama's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number.
Yo mama's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch
Yo mama's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing
Yo mama's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces
Yo mama's so old, her birthday's expired.
Yo mama's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments.
Yo mama's so old, she coughs out dust.
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama's so old, she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo Mama's Got ...

Yo mama's got 1 leg longer than other and they call her call her hip hop
Yo mama's got 1 toe & 1 knee and they call her Tony
Yo mama's got a bald head with a part and sideburns.
Yo mama's got a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
Yo mama's got a wooden leg with branches.
Yo mama's got hair on her tongue and she gargles with curl activator.
Yo mama's got more crust than bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Yo mama's got no fingers talking bout wanted to be with the Pointer sisters
Yo mama's got no legs and always talking about how she used to kick it
Yo mama's got one ear, talking bout she wants to hear both sides of the story
Yo mama's got one eye, one leg, one arm and one knee and they call her UNO
Yo mama's got snakeskin teeth.
Yo mama's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys.
Yo mama's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on.
Yo mama's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
Yo mama's got so much hair under her arms, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo mama's got three fingers and a banjo.
Yo mama's got three teeth...one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
Yo mama's got two wooden legs and one is one backward.
Yo mama has 10 fingers - all on the same hand.
Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.
Yo mama has a 'fro with warning lights.
Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.
Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.
Yo mama has one ear and a burnt potato chip
Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what You're saying.
Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.
Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.
Yo mama has one short arm and can't applaude.
Yo mama has one short leg and walks in circles.
Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.



   

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